Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Mis-Information Desk & The Metaphysics of Luck (BSB, Brunei)




I don’t know a lot about Brunei, even after visiting the small, oil-rich islamic country, but what I heard beforehand was that they had just introduced Sharia law and the Sultan is so rich that supposedly on his birthday he drives around Brunei throwing thousand dollar bills out of a convertible. (For those interested, his birthday is on: July 15th. )
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start with a geography lesson, because I’ve come to learn that pretty much no one, not even most travelers I meet, knows exactly where Borneo is or the complexity of nations that claim its land. I find that crazy, but that’s just me; the map-obsessed stare monster. 
It may be one of the reasons why I ran into very few foreign tourists; particularly the young-and-annoying backpackers. Borneo seems to be for the older and slightly better-moneyed crowd, I think. Anywho . . . On with the lesson:


Borneo is the 3rd largest island in the world. It is split up into 4 different “states” or “territories” if you will. Two of these chunks are owned by Malaysia; Sarawak, the Northwestern region, and Sabah, the Northeastern region, making together what Malaysians call: “East Malaysia”. If you are referring to Malaysia, you need to be clear about which part you are discussing, because to Malaysians there is a huge difference between the two regions. When you are talking about the part of Malaysia holding Kuala Lumpur, you say “Peninsular Malaysia” or “West Malaysia”. 
Between Sarawak and Sabah is the sliver-country of Brunei. Then the largest portion of Borneo is the whole 2/3rds southern chunk, which is owned by Indonesia. It is called “Kalimantan”.


My airport experience getting to BSB (yes, I’m so hip to the lingo now - This is short for Bandar Seri Begawan”) was unparalleled. I got to the tiny Mulu airport way too early (an hour before your flight is really early!). They say not even to get there until 30 minutes beforehand! So I sat and ate lunch and merrily (or maybe not-so-merrily) filled in all of my expenses from the last week into my budget spreadsheet. I got swept away by all of my personal finance nerdery until I realized my flight was leaving in 14 minutes and I hadn’t even checked in!
I rushed to the one MASWings desk. I did get a minor scolding for checking in late (“Please check in 30 minutes before the flight next time, we are all waiting for you.”) But I still made it through immigration and security to the “gate” at the precise time they called people to be seated.
I had no idea how long the flight was, but thought it would be like my flight from Miri; about 40 minutes. No. I believe it literally took 20 minutes gate to gate! I couldn’t even finish my Milo (chocolate milk) in time for landing!


The BSB Airport was fairly well-organized other than the completely illogical location of the ATMs which weren’t compatible with foreign cards anyway. (Tip: bring money to exchange into Brunei dollars!) Also, let me stop to complain about the fact that when I went to the Information Desk to ask where to catch the bus to downtown the woman lied and first said there was no bus. I knew this was false, so I pressed her until she said admitted its existence but claimed it would only come once an hour maybe and that I’d be lucky if it even stopped for me and I’d better just get a taxi. 
I smiled at her and laughed a “thanks anyway” in her direction, unsurprised and unoffended at the complete LACK of truth this "Information Desk" provided. You see, it’s so silly, because in the US, when you go to an Information Desk, you just expect to receive accurate and maybe even helpful “information”. In Asia? Ohhhhh no. It should be called “The Mis-Information Desk - “We specialize in relieving as much of your foreign money from you as possible!”’
So I decided to consult the internet. I went to a coffee shop, ordered an iced-mocha-frappy-situation (as I am known to do when arriving in a slightly stressful transportation environment as a coping mechanism for my anxiety), sat down and used the internet: the true Information Desk of my time. 
Thank the maker for crowd-sourced travel information! And for the kind non-english-speaking man who somehow knew exactly where I wanted to go and flagged down the proper bus for me with a smile even though I’m a woman, I’m white, and my head wears lots of uncovered blondy hair. 
Oh, and he didn’t ask me for money for his “service” in flagging down the bus which was stopping anyway. That’s quite common in Asia as well, kids. Point you to the right train car? Better pay up! Point you towards the museum? Give me money! Walk alongside you as you hike up a trail? I was your guide! 
Brunei, while boring, was pretty nice actually. The 20 minute-or-so bus ride was 1 Brunei dollar (close to 1 US dollar) all the way to downtown. The buses are cheap and pretty awesome actually! Also, though people don’t speak a ton of English in my experience, they are all friendly and try to help. 
Unfortunately, BSB is pretty expensive, hence why I only stayed two or three days. The cheapest hotels are at least $30 a night for the most part, but I was lucky to find out from someone in Mulu that the Youth Hostel in BSB was not closed (even though Travel Wiki said it would be until fall of 2014), and it only cost $10 a night for a bunk in an A/C room that was usually empty and just five minutes' walk from the main area of town. It even had a pool, but I never went into it because I just felt weird about wearing a bikini there. 
So in my time in Brunei, I walked around the downtown area, found out that getting laundry done would cost me over 10 dollars (screw that noise), saw the big monstrosity of a mosque (yes, it was very beautiful - from a distance), and spent quite a bit of time in the Gloria Jean’s coffee shop catching up on blog posts, emails, Vietnamese Visa and travel research, and other errands that build up when you’re off enjoying yourself for too many days in a row. I tried to figure out how to get to one of the several Crossfits in town cheaply (by bus), but their websites and the rest of the internet had no good information in that regard, so I went without, sadly. 
The truth is that Brunei had nothing I hadn’t already experienced before for far cheaper, and I just wasn’t in the mood to be a tourist! I took two terrible pictures the whole time, and they’re so lame I won’t even post them here. (I’m really not a good traveler-friend to have sometimes; I’m terrible at taking photos regularly. Sorry!)
So yes, I got a few more stamps in my passport, caught up on some things, and learned that BSB is actually quite a pleasant place for someone who doesn’t mind covering up in a lot of heat, having a high cost of living, eating tons of "chickenrice", and never drinking alcohol. Seriously, though, I was impressed by the people, and that did me a lot of good in the general scheme of things.
In order to get to my next destination, KK (Kota Kinabalu, Sabah - hey you know where that is now!), I decided to take two ferries: One to the island of Labuan (where people from Brunei go to party and be sinful on the weekends), and then one from Labuan to KK. When I boarded the jam-packed ferry to Labuan, they were blasting a video of an islamic prayer and it was on a loop for about 30 minutes. I was petrified it would continue for the rest of the 2 hour journey and I would go out of my mind, however they thankfully turned it off once we were well out of range of BSB’s pull.
Once in Labuan, I went immediately to the ticket counter to purchase my next ferry ticket, knowing they can sell out, leaving people stranded. When I reached the counter I found out that the tickets had indeed sold out. So I got the woman to find an alternate route that would mean a small fastboat to another city and then a bus to KK, which would take a little bit longer, but still work just fine. That’s travel, folks. Be flexible and relax!
I was then rushed to a waiting room to watch for my fastboat to be called. I was starving, but told I had no time to get any food, so I bought a tin of Pringles in the mad rush (Pringles and their knock-offs are EVERYWHERE in Asia) and ate the whole thing in 5 minutes. 
Then, the ticket woman came rushing out, looking around everywhere until she saw me, and nearly crashed into me, demanding my passport. I was pretty scared and confused. Her english wasn’t the best and I wasn’t about to hand over my passport without knowing why. She kept saying “You want to go KK? You want to go KK now?! Give passport!!”
She seemed genuine, so I relented. She went back behind security for what felt like ages. I tried to remember the lesson I learned in Thailand that the locals know how to get you where you want to go and you just have to trust that sometimes you and your ignorant western fears make you a dumb tourist just getting in the way of them helping you. She re-emerged after a few minutes with a grin, my passport, AND A FERRY TICKET TO KK in hand!! 
You see, there was an opening on the KK ferry and so she sought me out so I could get the spot instead of someone else! And there were so many other locals as well as foreigners that were “in the same boat” as me, but she chose me! Maybe it was because I was a girl traveling alone. Maybe it was because I was one of the few people in that crowded ticketing room that wasn’t upset and yelling when I found out the ferry was full. I don’t know, but I was really grateful and filled with travel-serendipitied-bliss. I certainly have a lot of luck; This trip has shown me that time and time again! 
They say we make our own luck, but I marvel at how I have earned so much of it. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, actually . . . Getting all philosophical about it. And if I were to write a book on travel, I would probably call it “The Metaphysics of Luck”.
So be watching the shelves for that bestseller! 

(none of these pictures are mine, fyi)

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